What did people tease you about growing up?

What didn't people tease me about when I was growing up? I was teased about everything under the sun, my "Chinese eyes", my "accent", my Bennett hips and butt, my boobs, pretty much everything. 

Usually the racist teasing came from my classmates and peers. The appearance taunts came from family. At first, any kind of teasing would upset me. But as I grew older, the teasing affected me less and less. I developed a "thick skin"as my father would say. I can handle most any kind of teasing now. If someone teases me about something I am sensitive about, I know how to speak up to discourage it. 

My thick skin enables me to better "hang" with the boys since teasing is commonplace. But also because I used to be sensitive about teasing, I know there are certain subjects to stay away from. Teasing about things that people cannot control is cruel. A good instance is body appearance. People cannot control the shape of their eyes or if they developed early. Teasing about a grammar slip up is okay, as long as it's not excessive. 

There is good teasing and bad teasing that can cause low self-esteem and social anxiety. Be aware of which one you're employing before you silently hurt someone. 

Who are your role models?

Pat Stuckart is the first person that comes to mind. He is a friend I met at a Charleston photo group. Once a month, a small group of photographers met at a local greek restaurant where we showed our photos on a projector. There was always an optional theme. I loved this group. It forced me to take some photos just so I would have something to show every month. But I also loved the company of my fellow photographers, Pat especially.

Pat always has a smile on his face and a joke ready. No matter what was going on in his life, he'd face it straight in the eye and make a joke out of it. He's been undergoing cancer treatments for the past couple of years and I have been moved by his courage and ability to see the positives no matter what.

Some people use humor to avoid reality, but Pat uses humor to reconstruct his reality into something beautiful and fun. For that, he is one of my role models and above all, a friend. I love you Pat and I am so blessed to have you in my life.

What gives you nightmares?

The antagonist of my nightmares used to be my father. He was controlling, violent, angry, and emotionally abusive. Lately he has been replaced with my ex-husband. Although there was a lot of love in my marriage, he also emotionally manipulated me which I didn't realize until after we split up. 

Luckily, I haven't had any nightmares about him lately. 

My last nightmare involved getting eaten by sharks. I was underwater and saw a shark swallow another shark whole and then swim towards me with it's mouth wide open. In dream world, I thought that if I screamed (underwater) that it would scare away the shark. It didn't work. The shark's mouth closed in on me and I woke up screaming. At the time it was terrifying, but now I laugh at it. 

I will gladly have shark nightmares if I had a choice. 

With what fictional character (book, movie, TV, etc.) do you most identify? Why?

The first character that comes to mind is Peggy Olson from Mad Men. I'm still on season two though. So, I only identify with Peggy Olson from that season (disclaimer in case her character changes later on).

Mad Men is a drama set in the 60's about an advertising agency on Madison Ave. Peggy started as a receptionist but has slowly crawled up to being a copywriter with her own office.

Peggy's character has progressed throughout the show and that is what I identify with the most.

At first, her fashion tastes were very frumpy and also childlike. If I am not careful with my fashion choices, I can easily look frumpy. Although Peggy and I have different reasons for changing our appearances, we both have changed for the better. Peggy changes her appearance so that she will be taken more seriously at work. Fashion for me, is fun. I like paying attention to style blogs and dressing myself well. Although I am 26, almost 27, it's taken me a long time to establish what my style is. When I was younger, I haphazardly wore clothing, trying to follow trends and fads even though they didn't work for me. It made shopping with my mom a nightmare, we both hated it. Now that I'm older, I know myself more and dress for me rather than following trends.

Another reason I connect with Peggy is that she's innovator. She's the only female in her profession and she has to work hard to be taken seriously but at the same time, she doesn't apologize for her sex. In one episode, she asks her boss for the recently vacated office and he gives it to her even though her seniority isn't as established as her male peers but since she asked for it, it was given to her. Her boss respected how forward she was and mentioned to her that her coworkers would never have had the courage to ask for that office and for that, she deserves it.

Although Peggy and I live in different times and in different professions, I feel as if I have to work harder than my male peers.

I can't wait to see how Peggy continues to transform in later seasons.